homage: independence day

Ok. I'm going to confess.

Independence Day is one of my favorite movies. And a rarity because I still enjoy watching it even after substantial mocking (by me and others) while viewing.

I watch it every 4th of July.
I know, I know - there are more patriotic/less fluffy movies I could watch to celebrate the birth of our nation, but I try to limit most heavy movie watching to my annual Memorial Day Tear Fest.

So join me if you will in a slightly lengthy, tongue-in-cheek look at my favorite disaster movie. So far.
(I've heard that Day After Tomorrow is pretty mockable.)


This guy obviously flunked his cadet training on "Decision Making in Crisis Situations: Or Why You Should Never Park Your Patrol Car in the Middle of the Road".


Anyone else remember cordless phones the size of Cadillacs? Me either.


Of all the disaster victims, this guy would have to be my favorite. I think he was listed in the credits as "Guy Who Sits and Watches a Firetruck Sail Across the Sky and Crash Through His Windshield".


To save money, the studio used some of this same footage in Pearl Harbor.


Memo to me: Add learning to drive a diesel truck to your life skillset toolbox. Just in case.


Boy, it sure was handy that they had a giant see-through wall map in the bunker of Area 51, just in case the President should happen to drop by and need a visual tracking board for worldwide destruction!


"Didn't anyone tell you? ... Mountains always look better in neon green."


This is the part where I silently cursed my friends for dragging me to see this movie in the theater on opening night. I NEVER go to the movies on opening night - and ESPECIALLY not some tricked out alien movie!! Darn them!...


...okay, wait. Nevermind. I'm okay now.


I'm not sure what it says about me that that this is my favorite part in the movie. "Is that glass bulletproof?" "NO SIR."


Able to kick alien butt without breaking a sweat and still looking GOOD? Check.


"David, why must you ALWAYS wear flannel?"


I've never said this aloud, but I thought it was somehow fitting that Houston was the testground for nuclear annihilation.


It's probably good that she died off early - every time she came on screen all I could think about was Dances With Wolves.


I bet he wears this fake wedding ring to ward off amorous coworkers.


And here is the token black man (see Undercover Brother for reference) - which he's really not, considering that Will Smith plays the main character. But don't mention this to Dan - he can't take a joke.


I still marvel at how the aliens missed Morse Code in their Earthlings 101 coursework.


"We will not go quietly into the night! We will now go down without a fight! We do not like green eggs and ham! We do not like them Sam I Am!"


"Oops."


"Stay on target...stay on target!" "I copy, Red Leader." Oh, wait. Wrong movie.


I have no logical explanation for why an alien air traffic control tower makes me giggle. But it does.


Protects children, screaming women, and small animals? Check.


Polling the audience: Better than the explosion of the Death Star or better than the explosion of the Death Star?

the legend of bagger vance

the year: 2000

the genre: drama


the cast: Will Smith (Bagger Vance); Matt Damon (Rannulph Junuh); Charlize Theron (Adele Invergordon); Bruce McGill (Walter Hagen); Joel Gretsch (Bobby Jones); J. Michael Moncrief (Hardy Greaves)


the plot: A disillusioned war veteran, Captain Rannulph Junah, reluctantly agrees to play a game of golf. He finds the game futile until his caddy, Bagger Vance, teaches him the secret of the authentic golf stroke which turns out also to be the secret to mastering any challenge and finding meaning in life.


don't miss: the beautiful score/soundtrack.


listen for: "Yep... Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing... Somethin' we was born with... Somethin' that's ours and ours alone... Somethin' that can't be taught to ya or learned... Somethin' that got to be remembered... Over time the world can, rob us of that swing... It get buried inside us under all our wouldas and couldas and shouldas... Some folk even forget what their swing was like..."


did you know: Although the film is based on fiction, both Bobby Jones and Walter Hagen were real golfers. Jones was the more famous because, among other things, he founded the US Masters tournament in Augusta.


extra bonus points: if you know who played the uncredited Narrator. (It was his last film.)


also listen for: "This is getting embarassing." "Oh no sir, this has been embarassing for quite some time."

hitch

the year: 2005

the genre: comedy


the cast: Will Smith (Alex "Hitch" Hitchens); Eva Mendes (Sara Melas); Kevin James (Albert Bernnaman); Amber Valletta (Allegra Cole); Adam Arkin (Max)


the plot: Alex Hitchens, better known as Hitch, is the date doctor. His latest project, Albert Brenneman, is a nerdy financial consultant who fell in love with the famous Allegra Cole. While Hitch helps Albert with his love life, he struggles with is own. He starts falling for work-a-holic, Sarah Melas.


don't miss: Hitch and Albert's discussion on dance:



listen for: "Any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom."


count: how many basic principles there are, according to Hitch.


also listen for: "When your wondering what to say, or how you look... just remember... she is already out with you. That means, she said yes, when she could've said no. That means she made a plan... when she could've just blown you off. So that means it is no longer you job to make her like you... It's is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP."


did you also know: Allegra Coleman was a fictitious actress created by Esquire magazine in their Nov '96 issue, designed to spoof other magazine's fawning obsession with new stars. The article written about her new "It Girl" status prompted calls from studios and talent scouts eager to offer her scripts. Ali Larter provided the face and body shots for the faux starlet.


extra bonus points: if you know what Hitch prefers to call the seafood appetizer Coquille St-Jacuqes.